BRIANNA NELSON

PULLING A GRAY REARVIEW RAPTURE

 

I rip a handful of hair from my head slosh and imagine it growing back

gray            the gray I did not expect the first time I saw the ocean disjointed and reflected in a rearview mirror the first time I ripped a handful of hair from my head and unexpected gray ocean sloshed my face as I stood            reflected in a rearview mirror that I ripped from the roof that grew back a new shape like the hand that pulled my hair and I did not realize until later that turning around makes all the difference that grabbing the hand with a hand that rips gray waves unexpected like a rearview mirror makes all the difference and I grow back

gray like clouds disjointed like joints disrupting traffic and those who cry hallelujah are not raptured but ripped like hair tossed like slosh into gray waves that roll back views of sitting in the seats of cars running on harried lips of my neighbor who is a stranger but looks like a version of me in a dream that my neighbor describes when she grabs my hair and pulls underneath all that unexpected gray matter a wave            against a rearview mirror in a car with no driver my neighbor lifts into the sky holding my hair and a sign that says hallelujah because if a watcher can’t feel her words hear her words maybe the watcher who only watches can see her words nuance ripped from speech because ears fill with waves I did not expect to be so gray under a sky so filled with twinkling lost before knowing found could exist only in a rearview mirror that can’t feel her words hear her words see her words grow back

gray disjointed dreams my neighbor nestles in my arms sucks at my nipple because I have nothing          to offer but my body a bed and my nipple a pillow for lips sloshing gray waves for the first time        my body sore for the first time my hand grabbing the hand my neighbor thrusts inside me pulling up dead trees rotted in my unexpected gray          throbbing a sign that says hallelujah in a rearview mirror where I watch my hair grow back

 

 

BRIANNA NELSON IS A WRITER, BOOKMAKER, AND NONPROFIT PUBLICATIONS MANAGER LIVING IN OAKLAND, CALIFORNIA. HER WORK HAS APPEARED IN THICK JAM AND JOE + GIGS.
GestureBRIANNA NELSON